Today as we close out the month of November in the year 2014, it is a day of reflection.
I reflect back and I think of the year and what it has brought to me. It has brought heart ache and joy, we have seen things that could have been tragic turn in to triumphs, we have seen God's movement and we have felt God's silence. We have learned patience and we have a new respect for Job. Most of all our level of trust in our Lord has grown to a different level. I find there are very few plan B's in my life because my trust for plan A, God, has grown. I have more faith in Him then I do in myself and I have not always been able to say that. I have truly been blessed.
I am thankful for my God most of all. He is a merciful God. I remember vividly crying out to him earlier this year, when my health was in a major spiral down, I was angry. I remember screaming at the top of my lungs, tears running down my face, take me home, heal me or make me stronger but please do not leave me like this. He chose to make me stronger but I believe He is also healing me. I have a passion for life again. Something I think I may have lost. I am thankful for my salvation and my one on one relationship with my Lord. I have a long way to go in improving my walk but I think those closet to me see there has been a change in me. I have truly been blessed.
I want to thank the Lord for my husband. My for better or for worse, in sickness and health to death us do part. He is my best friend here on earth. He knows my fears and my short comings. He takes care of me and he had done a great amount for my mom too, not because of her as much as because she is important to me. I want to thank my husband for being here, standing by my side and supporting me . There are days he catches all my frustrations and all my anger though it is not at him. He tries to understand the fibro and the lupus, and why some days it hurts to even be touched. My heart though never wants him to let go. I have truly been blessed.
I want to thank the Lord for my son, Jared. He has turned into a wonderful man of God and a wonderful husband to his wife Audra. He had a great grandmother who prayed that he would be a mighty man of God and if she was alive today she would be so proud. She would love his dear wife Audra as all of us do. Jared was my miracle. He was not suppose to be here with out fertility drugs but God is the maker of life and He chose his perfect time for him to be born. His faith in our Lord is great and to hear him say … “Audra and I have prayed about it” Does so much for this mom's heart it makes it want to leap. I have to truly been blessed.
I want to thank the Lord for my daughter, Audra. I don't like the words in law. Audra, is an answer to a prayer prayed for 23 years, that the Lord would let me have a daughter. It did not work out for us to adopt but the Lord sure did bless this family when he brought Audra in to it. She is a wonderful help meet for my son. You can not stay around her long with out feeling happy or better. She shines the love of the Lord. She some day will be a wonderful mom to my grand children. I love her and I have truly been blessed.
I want to thank the Lord for Cornerstone Baptist Church and Pastor Ron Ralph. Brother Ron is not just our Pastor, he is our friend. My church family have been so good to Bob and I. Many of my sisters, to many to name, have taken me to the doctor, or to see mom. We are given the living word of God every Sunday and Wednesday, it is not a God is love message. He is not afraid to tell us what we are doing wrong according to the Bible. He challenges to be better spouses, better parents, better children, and better neighbors. He teaches us that there is a literal hell and he preaches the salvation message. I am also thankful for the music we have and for Bro. David and Bro. Jacob and all the special music we have. We are a talented church, God has truly blessed us when he led us to Cornerstone. I am truly blessed.
I want to thank the Lord for my mom and brothers and their families. The past five years have been very stressful for us and some times we disagree more then we agree, but the bottom line is I wouldn't trade them for any other. I miss my dad horribly but I know he is in a much better place. I love my niece and am so proud of her in her walk with God and her new husband. I am proud of each of my nephews and the talent the Lord has blessed them all with. I am truly blessed.
I want to thank the Lord for a special friend , cousin,sister.. Lisa. I never had a birth sister but she and I have been there for one another through most of our storms and victories. We don't get to see each other much any more but I love her dearly and I know she loves me. If life was different we would sit down with our dip and chips and diet Dr. Pepper and talk to the wee hours of the morning. I miss her and love her. I am truly blessed.
I want to thank God for the material things such as my home. I want to thank Him for all his blessing that He has given me. Those I can see and those I can't. Those I can touch and those I can't. I thank Him for my husbands job and for blessing us with a good steady pay check and insurance for 20 years. I want to thank Him for the prayer group because they are many women who have blessed my life that I might not have known. I truly could go on and on and never get through with all that I have to be thankful for.
Last but not least, I want to thank the Lord for those who believe in me. For those who have confidence in me that at times I don't have. For those who believe in my dreams more then I do at times. For those who rather be truthful with me then just hold my hand and pat it. The health issues I face now will defeat me if I don't keep going. There is not time to lay in a ball of pity. I thank the Lord for those who cheer me on, even if at times it is with a kick in the pants.
